Chapter Seventeen:
A Dream
[Page 4]
Kelly and I went outside and talked to Posey. Kelly told her that
he would like her to stay but he would respect her choice, and that
she had the choice. He told her that he loved her a lot.
"Posey, I really want you to stay,'' I began. "I know
it's hard for you to stay. It's often hard for people as well. Part
of me would just like to take off with you out into the world of
spirit, and be done with all the muck of this world. But remember
the shapes of relationships, Posey, remember how wonderful it can
be here.''
As I talked, Posey was walking the fence, turning and looking at
us with her beautiful, feminine face. She was very clear and alert.
"I wish you would stay for the pleasure you give other people,
like Linda and Nelson, and for the babies you could bring. You know
you love your babies. And you could have some with your spirit,
and they could help people. I'd love for you to have more babies.
But it's your choice. If you feel you must go, I release you, Posey.
If you are going to go, please do it here so we can bury you next
to Renny. We don't want to have you go through a lot of confusion
at Davis and then die--that would be horrible. And we won't sell
you now--if you stay alive, you'll go out to Elk Hill with Lil Bit
and the others.
"If you are here tomorrow, then we are going to act on the
assumption that you want to stay. If you need vet care to assist
your healing, fine, we'll give it to you.''
If she would have allowed a hug, I would have given her one. Instead,
we gave her some apple leaves. Then we went for a walk with the
dogs. I felt peaceful for the first time all day. What would be,
would be.
The night before, I had wished aloud that there was an old Fred
Astaire movie on television. Tonight there was, Kelly reported,
so we settled down to watch it. It was good to get our minds off
our lives. When it was over, we started dancing around the house.
Kelly even did a few steps on the living room table.
I didn't check Posey after dark, but when I woke the next morning
I went right to my study window. Little Perry was sitting chewing
her cud just beyond a big tree. Posey was lying stretched out on
her side, her head on the ground.
Had she really done it, then? Had she just gone, like Renny did?
I watched closely. Was that a twitch of a leg? She picked her head
up, and I was flooded with joy. "Posey, you're here, you're
still here!'' I cried out. She got up and walked briskly to another
place, where she sat down. As I watched, she chewed her cud a little.
I couldn't yet believe that she had really decided to stay and
would now get well. That would have to play itself out. I couldn't
encompass all the implications of the kind of communication Penelope
spoke of. I was well aware that on one level, the level of observation,
nothing was much changed. Yet that level itself is but one aspect
of reality, and making it the primary reality has been a real problem
for our civilization. I rejoiced and hoped.
Posey did recover; there were no further episodes. We bred her
to Whiskers, who had sired Renaissance. It took only one breeding
to get her pregnant.
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