But what else to do? I called Penelope, but the line was busy. I kept dialing her number, and finally Penelope answered. I described the situation a little.
“I get something in the small intestine or first part of the large intestine,” she said. “Actually her whole digestive tract is upset. And there’s a constriction, something to do with her brain. There’s a pressure in her head, a firing in her brain. And right along with that, I get the same attitude that her daughter had. Posey would like to leave. The short-circuit in the brain is how she’s been trying to take herself out.
“She is happy for the attention you are giving her, and she wants me to tell you that she likes you both very much, but she is not of this world.
“So Posey is in a debate. She wants to go, but she also is still considering staying. She says she doesn’t really see a purpose to staying, now that you are moving.”
I asked Penelope to ask Posey if she would stay to raise Perry.
“She says this baby is not one of hers. She’ll be fine. She’s a regular llama.”
“The vets are talking about taking her to Davis,” I said.
“That’s a hard one,” Penelope replied. “But you can ask Posey to decide by tomorrow. Explain how hard it is for you to just wait and watch. She has the ability to go if she wants to or to heal herself. She might want some veterinary help too. Just wait and see.”
“Penelope, how are the other ladies feeling? Do they understand what’s going on with the moving and all?”
“Let me check,” said Penelope. After a moment, she commented, “There is a sadness in Lally. She’s not ill, but she’s a little depressed. There’s a disbelief that it will really happen. She will adjust because there is also understanding there. She is accepting the change. As for Lil Bit, she doesn’t want to talk about it.”
I said that we were trying to get her pregnant.
“She doesn’t want to get pregnant now. Maybe she will later. She’ll go where she’s meant to go, but she has that same quietness as Lally. And Blossom is simply incredulous. She just doesn’t believe it’s going to happen.”
Our conversation returned to Posey. “Tell her, ‘It’s your life, to stay or go. We’d like you to stay.’ And see how she’s doing by tomorrow. Tell her to decide, not drag the indecision on.”
“It’s really been hard,” I sighed.
“You’ve attracted some very unusual beings to yourselves and to Juniper Ridge,” Penelope said. “Now that you’re leaving, they have to make their own decisions too.”
“Is that what happened with Renaissance?”
“I don’t think she ever meant to stay very long. She’s like Posey, not a regular llama.”
After we hung up, I sat for a while, thinking. It was a great relief to have talked with Penelope. Gradually I realized that I had already known much of what she said, that the same themes had come up in that meeting with the Great Llama. Between my prophetic dream and the Great Llama reverie, it seemed that I was finally opening up to telepathic connections. If there was still extraneous or even erroneous material as part of the new awareness, well, maybe that would sort itself out over time.
These days had been very stressful, but now–like when Shadow and Lally didn’t nurse–I could see in retrospect the gifts of learning. As before, I felt a deep gratitude to the llamas and to life itself. I wondered what kinds of thoughts other llama owners had at times like this. Then I pulled myself back to what needed doing.
