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17: A Dream, Page 2
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We walked up to see Posey and Perry, in the little side yard where Kelly had placed them once Posey could walk. I wouldn’t have guessed that anything was the matter. Maybe she was moving a little slowly.

By the time a veterinarian arrived, everything was normal including Posey’s temperature at 101. The vet wondered if she had had a reaction to a bee sting. He speculated about impaction, an ulcer, or food poisoning, and ended up just telling us to watch her.

“I felt so helpless when Posey was down,” Kelly told me that evening. “I wasn’t at all calm.”

“It’s too much so soon after Renny, and with all the other changes,” I said. “It’s odd, how much it’s like my dream, though that was Blossom. There’s a llama lying on her side seemingly dying, there’s the vet out of town, there’s the same temperature. But most of all, the feeling of the dream is so much like today has been. I felt in the dream the same sense of helplessness in the face of crisis that you felt today.”

I had never had a prophetic dream before, though I knew that they occurred. Since I hadn’t actually seen Posey when she was down, and maybe because everything turned out okay in the dream, now I was feeling less upset than Kelly. I hoped I wasn’t going to have a habit of dreaming things that came true, though. That could be very unsettling.

The next day, I wrote about the incident. After I’d noted the facts, I decided to let my imagination roam. I imagined that Posey and I were talking.

“Where did you go, Posey?” I asked her.

“My body hurt in my abdomen. Then the pain took me out of here and became itself a gateway into the world where the Great Llama stood guardian on a throne, and beyond him was the Light. He was a beautiful all-white llama, stern and completely loving. He asked me to stay on earth for the sake of all beings, to add my spirit to the balance of life on earth at this time of trouble.

“It was up to me, I could stay or go as I chose, but he showed me the beautiful delicate shapes of earthly attachments between beings. He looked into the future and saw my children and grandchildren. He showed me all these llamas that would come to life if I stayed.

“While the Great Llama was showing me these things, Kelly was rubbing my ears, and Kelly was so upset that I felt that it would be better for him if I came back.

“This was a new thought for me, that what I did would matter to anyone but me or my baby. It is part of the new shapes that I didn’t see before.

“Then the Great Llama told me that I have a different kind of mind. He told me that the llamas need me too, that I can temper their earth-bound qualities. Well I certainly liked that. When I think of that Blossom, and all her bossiness–why she doesn’t have the faintest idea about the Great Llama! I guess they do need me.

“If I left now, my baby would become (hmpf) a pet. But if I stay, she will have more of my delicate energy, and I can teach her about my experience. Renny always did go way out there, but that was her nature, right from the start. This little rooted one, child of Levi, I haven’t found so exciting after Renny. But now I see she has talents. Yes, Perry is the most refined of that peasant Levi’s daughters. But I do hope you breed me to someone with more class this year.

“If I decide to stay, that is.”

A friend had been thinking of buying Posey. We notified him that we probably shouldn’t sell her at this time. But then when a couple of days went by, and she seemed fine, I had another conversation with the friend about maybe selling her after all. Maybe the whole thing had just been a reaction to a bee sting.

An hour or two later–coincidentally?–Posey was down again. Llamas do stretch out to relax in the sun, but when we approached her, Posey barely moved. It seemed that she was in considerable pain. As before, no veterinarians were immediately available. Kelly and I sat with Posey. We put her head in our laps, at any other time an unimaginable liberty. I told her about those shapes of relationships again. I told her that I loved her.

After a while, Perry came up and nursed Posey’s wool determinedly, nuzzling around, and finally getting on the teats. That led Posey to sit up.

When a vet came up, again there was nothing obvious. He checked Posey and drew blood for tests. A few hours later, he called to say that the blood results didn’t explain anything. He suggested we think of hauling Posey to one of the llama research hospitals. Whether we went to the one in California or the one in Oregon, it would be a journey of several hours and then Posey would be in just the kind of situation that she hated most. I was sure that it would undermine her will to live.

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